Life is Beautiful!!

    I think I better clear a couple of things up. I wrote that lengthy post and failed to really give clear perspective about what's going on. I received a couple of concerned responses today and re-read the downer post this afternoon. Woops, won't post at 1:20am anymore :). It's message/purpose was a little vague.First of all, please refer to the title of this entry. Life is BEAUTIFUL! I mean that with all my heart. Life is just life. So, here goes.

    My awesome hubby graduated with is Masters in Sociology from ISU in May 2009. It was incredible to watch him walk across that stage and accept that beautiful diploma cover (ha ha). We had begun looking for jobs prior to graduation, and we were excited to begin that next portion of the journey. 9 months later, we are still "excited" for this next portion of the journey. We have not felt surprised by how long it has taken. The current economy is what it is. Struggling (to put it mildly), and our little family is just working it's way through it just like the rest of the world. Where there used to be 7-10 people applying for a job, there are now 40-50 (he was literally told that by one gal who interviewed him for a position back in October). You could say the job market is somewhat competitive right now. I am being a bit sarcastic here. It's hugely competitive, and quite frankly it's littered with people in FAR worse situations than we are, and with far more experience. We are not losing our job after 20 years, our pensions, our 401K's, homes, vehicles, etc. So last Thursday after waiting 27 days from the time of the interview, we heard that my totally capable honey was not selected for a job. It's not the first, I really HOPE it's the last, but I have no control over that. It is what it is. We were prepared. We were hopeful. It was a wonderful job with wonderful opportunities. For Kevin, it was not just something that he was "qualified" to apply for and so he did, it was work that he really wanted to do. That's always exciting, and always makes you want it pretty bad. You see yourself doing that job and all of the opportunities it presents. You feel like maybe the end of the road is actually here, and we get to head in a new direction. Well, if you look at it just right that's exactly what we get to do. That is what we are going to do. The night we found out we celebrated with friends and a fun dinner. It meant that something else was coming. There's something better on it's way. The timing isn't right. There is a plan. We know all of these things. We thank our Heavenly Father many times a day for this knowledge. January and February have been filled with increased beautiful whisperings of the spirit that have invigorated me with hope, and a knowledge that the Lord is guiding the direction of my life and the lives of family. I have never felt abandoned by Him through this whole process. I have never felt like He didn't know what was best for my family. God was not unaware that Kevin would not get this job. It didn't take Him by surprise. He also didn't leave us in the dark about it. We were prepared. We were prepared for how we would feel, and what would come afterwards. We are just experiencing the aftermath of something like this. Going back to the drawing board. We are moving forward with our lives. Have ya'll seen the movie "Meet the Robinsons"? Please do. So wonderful!! With the most wonderful message. "Keep Moving Forward" Walt Disney. It's based on this lovely little quote from the great Disney himself, encouraging us to keep moving forward after a failure. Failure happens to all of us. How do we handle that failure? That's the real test. We are trying to pass with flying colors. Here's what I know. I wrote that entry back in January for a reason. I have had countless quiet moments of peace and understanding through this whole process. My girls have been particularly expressive of their love recently for a reason. I have had people come out of the woodwork for my family for many reasons. I woke up that Thursday morning from a dead sleep for a reason, knowing he wouldn't get the job. I was prepared. I was worthy of being prepared. That is why I feel Gratitude. Gratitude for my faith, knowledge and blessings. 

    So here's what I've realized through this months events. I find that birth and labor are the major players in my seeing the world clearly and the things we experience. I use birth analogies all the time. Kind of odd to some, but the symbolic nature of a woman laboring and the birth of a child can stretch deep into our lives. My family is in transition. It's that hardest part just before we get to hold that "baby". It's the time we want to give up the most, and the time that we are threatened with the thought that we have lost the ability to cope. It's the time in labor when we can be taken over in either a very positive, or very negative way. There are a couple of ways to look at this. I've learned these beautiful things from not only the births of my own children, but being a part of the journeys of so many other women. Birth of my baby girl number one; I learned that this (transition) cannot be greater than I can handle, because it is me. My body cannot labor greater than me, because it is my body. Birth of baby number two; I will welcome this transition and learn from it. I will allow it to come. It is not as bad as I am making it. I can handle this, and I just did. We are in that place. This cannot be greater than we can handle, because it is our life. I FIRMLY believe that we are NEVER given things too great for us to handle. Also, this "baby" will come. Just because it took us this long to get to this place, does not mean it will take the same amount of time to get to the end. That's one of the biggest battles of a woman in labor. Remembering that this will be over at some point relatively soon. That doesn't mean we won't cry, or want to scream & kick our feet, saying it's so unfair. I do know that as I look to my right or my left I see that my life is beautifully fair. We do not have it that bad. We are not losing our home, our family is not falling apart, we are not questioning/losing our faith, we are not burying a child. We are blessed!! We are succeeding! So, please know we are well. We are great in fact. We are learning so much all the time. There are countless things we have to look forward too all the time, and it's just the final push to the end. 

    I want to share hope and love. I want to be an advocate for the good things that are to be seen and experienced even in the midst of what would appear to some as down times. Even after the "baby"/Job comes, the push to get through it all isn't over. As we all know, that is when the real work begins. We love you all! Thank you for your love, prayers, and words of encouragement. They are felt, and appreciated more than words can say! Blessings~ Allie